Style Is Not Shallow - But Your Excuses Might Need a Gentle Nudge

We’ve all been told at some point that caring about our appearance is vain, shallow, or somehow less important than other parts of life. And for many women over 40, those messages have quietly stuck, convincing us to pull back, tone down, or fade into the background.

But here’s the truth: style isn’t shallow.It’s one of the ways we express joy, identity, and presence in the world.It’s how we say — without words — “I’m still here. I still matter.”

And if you’ve been putting yourself at the bottom of your own priority list lately, maybe it’s time for a gentle reminder of why showing up in style is about so much more than clothes.

Style Is About Care — Not Just Clothes

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the idea that putting effort into our appearance is silly, or reserved for the young, the rich, or the superficial. But style is really just one part of self-care.

When a woman shows up in an outfit that makes her feel beautiful, it’s not necessarily because she’s trying to impress the world. More often, it’s because she’s chosen to show herself a little respect that day. A little love.

And after all you’ve carried, survived, accomplished, and given — don’t you deserve that?

The Excuses We All Make

If you’ve been telling yourself you don’t have the time, the body, or the reason to put effort into your appearance, you’re not alone. Let’s look at three of the most common “style excuses” — with kindness, but also with honesty.

“I don’t have time.” You don’t need hours. You just need intention. Choosing a scarf that makes you smile instead of reaching for the same old hoodie takes the same time — it just comes from a different place.

“Nothing fits me right now.” That’s not your fault. That’s fashion’s fault. You don’t have to wait for a certain number on the scale to dress yourself well. Style belongs to you exactly as you are today.

“I’m too old for that.” No, you’re not. You are just right for elegance, joy, colour, fun, and beauty. Your style doesn’t have an expiry date — it evolves with you.

Putting your best appearance forward isn’t about approval from others. It’s about energy. It lifts your mood and reminds you that you’re still curious, still alive, still you.

Showing Up for Yourself (Even in Small Ways)

When you get dressed with intention, you carry yourself differently. You might stand a little taller, speak with more confidence, or make choices from a place of calm rather than self-doubt.

And this isn’t about expensive wardrobes or perfect hair. It’s about small, thoughtful choices:

• Wearing a blazer that fits just right

• Putting on lipstick even if you’re just running errands

• Letting go of jeans that make you feel less-than every time you wear them

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Your Style Is a Love Letter to Your Life

When I think about style, I don’t think about trends. I think about memory. My mother wearing perfume to the post office. My aunt with her drawer full of scarves. Clients telling me, “When I wear this, I feel like I matter again.”

Style is a quiet ritual. A way of reclaiming space in a busy, demanding world. And when we say “it doesn’t matter anymore,” what we often mean is “I’ve forgotten how to prioritise myself.”

It’s time to remember.

Gentle, Joyful Ways to Reconnect with Your Style

If you’re ready to dip a toe back into dressing with intention, here are a few easy places to start:

1. Choose one outfit that makes you feel good now. Not someday. Not “after I lose the weight.” Now.

   
   

2. Play with your look. Try a colour you haven’t worn in years. Mix a pattern. Wear earrings on a Tuesday for no reason.

   
   

3. Let go of what doesn’t serve you. That includes old clothes and old beliefs about who you are.

   
   

4. Create a feel-good uniform. Your go-to look that makes you feel confident and comfortable, whether that’s linen pants and a blouse, or jeans and a great knit.

   
   

5. Accessorise with joy. Use pieces that carry meaning — a gift, a travel souvenir, or something that makes you smile every time you wear it.

This Isn’t About Clothes — It’s About Confidence

At the heart of it, style is just another way of embracing yourself. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being present.

Fashion doesn’t have to be loud, expensive, or complicated. It just has to feel like you. And every time you choose something that makes you smile, even a little, you remind yourself:

I am still here. I still matter. I am still beautiful.

Because you are.

Open your wardrobe. Let go of what no longer serves you. Wear something that feels good — even if no one sees it but you. Especially then.

You don’t dress up to be noticed. You dress up to be felt — by yourself, by the people who love you, and by the part of you that still loves a little sparkle and a great handbag.

After all, you’ve spent years looking after everyone else. This? This is for you.